How To Sound Smart In Your TEDx Talk

 

Here that, that's nothing.... which is what I as a speaker at today's conference have

for you all, I have nothing ! nada ! zip! zilch! Zippo! nothing smart ,nothing

inspirational, nothing even remotely researched at all, I have absolutely nothing to

say whatsoever and yet through my manner of speaking I will make it seem like I do,

like what I am saying is brilliant and maybe just maybe you will feel like you've learned

something. Now I'm going to get started with the opening, I'm going to make a lot

of hand gestures ,I'm going to do this with my right hand,, I'm going to do this

with my left, I'm going to address my glasses and then I'm going to ask you

all a question by show of hands how many have you all been asked a question

before ? okay great I'm seeing some hands and again I have nothing here. Now I'm

going to react to that and act like I'm telling you a personal anecdote ,something to

break the tension something to endear myself a little bit something kind of

embarrassing and you guys are going to make an ah sound, it's true it really

happened and now I'm going to bring it to a broader point ,I'm going to really

back in I'm going to make it intellectual I'm going to bring it to

this man right here now :

what this man did was important I'm sure but I for one have no idea who he is I simply

google image the word " scientist " and now you see I'd like it to seem like I'm making

points building an argument inspiring you to change your life when in reality this is just

me buying time now if you don't believe me let's take a look at the numbers this is a

real thing that's happening right now the number of talks that I'm giving is one

interesting facts imparted thus far in said talk well that's going to be a zero my height

in inches is 70.5 note the 0.5 there 2 times 6 equals 12 and then interestingly

enough 6 times 2 also equals 12 that's math 352 is a three-digit number 1 2 3 4

5 and then almost immediately following that we get 6 7 8 9 10

now to add more filler here I'm gonna give you a couple more numbers to

consider 18 237 5601 2.6 million for 424 staggering these are real numbers all of

them and to follow that up let's take a look at some graphs :

Now if you take a look at this pie chart what you're going to see is that the majority

far exceeds the minority, everybody see that, cool isn't it and let's take a look at this

bar graph because it shows similarly irrelevant data :

Now I'm doing this because I'd like to make it seem like I've done my homework if you

were say watching this on YouTube with the sound off you might think huh

ok this guy knows what he's talking about, but I don't I'm floundering

panicking, I've got nothing, I'm a total and utter phony, but you know what ? I was

offered a TED talk and damn it I'm gonna see it through...

Now if you take a look behind me these are just words ( Innovation , Synergy ,

Paradigm Shift, revolutionizing a way of thinking ) paired with vaguely thought-

provoking stock photos, I'm going to point at them like I'm making use both of my

time as well as your time but in reality I don't know what half of the mean and now as

these continue. I'm just going to start saying gibberish, waggle wah , gabba gabba,

turkey ,mouth and a mouth ,ship ,trip, my dog skip, rip it and dip it Richard, I'm

an itty bitty baby Bopper and I'm hungry and my Tumtum, Brad Pitt, uma thurman,

names , things , words words and more things and see it feels like it might make

sense doesn't it like maybe just maybe I'm building to some sort of satisfying

conclusion, I mean on gesticulate ng as though I am I'm pacing I'm growing in

intensity I'm taking off my glasses which by the way are just frames!! I wore them to

look smart even though my vision is perfect, and now I'm going to slow things down

a little bit, I'm going to change the tone, I'm going to make it seem like I'm building to

a moment and what if I wanted amazing isn't ? it what can you do life's a roller

coaster, you know if there's one thing you take away from my talk I'd like you to think

about what you heard at the beginning and I'd like you to think about what you

hear now, because it was nothing and it's still nothing think about that or don't

that's fine and now I'm going to stop talking thank you.

Source : Will Stephen | TEDxNewYork